I'm not a slave
I'm not a mistress
I hope I can be the mistress of my mind and my emotions
But I hope I can let my heart guide me into life
I hope I can lost the more of me in someone else who can love me for what I am
Like Paul Valery say "Perdre le plus de moi même en l'autre"

I'm not a toy
I'm not a machine
I feel like a toy when life give horrors to me
I feel like a machine, catatonic, when my heart crumble in little pieces
When bad feelings submerge me
When I am subjected to the chemistry of my brain, of my body
I feel like a toy when others do rot with what I offer

A quelques détails, mais le fond y est...

First, I don't speak english well
And it's very very frustrating for me

Then, I lived post-traumatic stress effects...
and it's so hard to explain the way I feel
Lot of pain, sadness, and a monstrous rage...

Like a bomb in the middle of it, I was very surprise and lost about what you've done

One side, an horrible feeling
On the other side, a... heart's explosion
Really, it's like a big heart's explosion

An other point:
Do you know Pride and Prejudice?
Well... I won't play this sort of game


The principal point, and sorry, but I'm worried for my baby, I'm worry everytime!
And particularly these days
When I'm afraid for her, it could paralyze me


And I think it's so strange to speak with someone who don't know but who feel familiar

Submerge...

Au seuil...

Make & Break the Cocoon

Finally

Do you want to make me cry guys?

Urd

Aujourd'hui, à la Crêpe au Suc'
suis passée prendre une rose pour dessiner
on m'en a offert deux

Et puis cette femme passe devant moi
Vieille femme borgne, l'œil droit clos
Elle regarde ce que je dessines, regarde autour d'elle
Me demande si je vais à droite ensuite
Ma rose est bien avancée déjà
Je pensais en faire une fée


Quelques mots maladroits sous le crayon

"Sous la paupière lourde du Passé
l'oeil noyé de larmes contemple l'Avenir
enclos dans la poitrine une promesse d'amour éternel
mais le temps fane les idylles
alors que nous restera t'il des étreintes passionnées
si nous consumons ensemble nos flammes
dans l'ardeur d'un feu plus grand?"

J'ai peur des bras que je cherche et que je fuis...

Don't let me down

Metamorphosis -> Violent Lullaby...

3 days like a nightmare
horrible visions had submerge me...
Some childhood's injuries exploded in my mind
I was feeling so alone, so tired
I couldn't eat, barely sleep
And I saw your faces
I didn't know what to do because I could barely stand


Violent Lullaby not for children
For the broken children's inside the grownups...

I hope the nightmare turn into a dream, a beautifull true dream

Quasar Kokeshi

In progress

Memo

Safety
Breathe
Love
Dance
Write
Swim
Sew
Paint

Roller
Nature
Ocean
Sea
Rain
Astronomy

Smile

Divide
Build
Progress

Love...

A good suggestion...

No father

Someone can protect us from the monster who he is?

A un piment rouge ajouté des ailes: une libelulle [ Matsuo Bashô ]

L'élève:

Une libellule, arrachée lui les ailes: un piment.

Why...

do you say I'm not the same now?

A black crow in the sky
A breath of wind
And I saw your face

Little stars in my pocket
Violets in my heart

I don't know what to do

I feel like...




a big black car had explode under my eyes...

Take my hand

He said

"I'm not given up because I love you"